Pitiful Kismesis
by Selena Estella
Summary: 'It'th the voitheth,' he explains glumly. 'They've been really loud lately and now I have the wortht migraine imaginable. Jutht moving my head hurtth.' You don't know what to say. You guess you're glad he's not sick, but this is almost worse in a way.' Rated T for language, but it's essentially just fluff. Oneshot. And oh, I don't own Homestuck.


Essentially commissioned to me by all the people on the Tumblr EriSol tag who died from FEELS when TOSOTH updated.

If you do not know what TOSOTH is then... honestly, where have you _been?_

At any rate, this fic is, essentially, harmless fluff. Could be considered part of the Adolescence universe, except I'm not currently anywhere _near_ when this is set if it is.

Oh, and I'm using a slightly different Eridan speach thing in this fic. Seems more accurate. But whatever.

* * *

Your name is ERIDAN AMPORA. You are currently waiting outside of your KISMESIS' hive, waiting for SOLLUX CAPTOR to OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR.

You have been waiting fir a while and, due to this, are rather irritated. It isn't like him to keep you waiting, especially since _you_ only go to visit _him_ personally about twice a sweep. Stepping into a Communal Hive Stem is somewhat degrading for someone of your status, but sacrifices must be made for the sake of spades and blah blah blah and _why doesn't he open the fucking door?_

You knock _yet again_, even harder this time, and wait. Not even an irritated 'go away!' You're pretty sure he's in, too, unless his message that evening had been a lie and he _has_ gone out. You're pretty sure you're on time, too. You would never be anything else.

'_Sol!_' you yell through the door. '_Sol! Sollux! **Sollux Captor!** Open the fuckin' door before I fuckin' kick it dow-wn!'_ No response from inside, but you do get a message on your husktop.

**twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]**

**TA: pii22 off ED**

**TA: iim not iin the mood for your bull2hiit**

**CA: the fuck sol?**

**CA: wwe fuckin arranged this you cant just cluckbeast out a it  
**

**TA: ii can and ii am**

**TA: 2crew you**

**TA: my head ii2 fuckiing kiilliing me and ii ju2t cant handle hate makeout2 toniight**

**TA: now let me diie iin peace**

**twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA] **

**CA: wwait  
**

The fuck? You bang your fist against the door, hard, until your hand starts to throb. Then you turn your attention back to your husktop. He should still be able to see your messages.

**CA: for gods sake sol**

**CA: i wwill be here until you let me in**

**CA: an i WWILL break the door dowwn!**

You pound the wood again for emphasis.

**twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]**

**TA: oh je2u2 fuck**

**TA: maybe iif you know how pathetiic ii am youll go away  
**

**TA: iit2 a cheap lowblood hiive the door 2hould open wiith a good kiick or two**

**TA: for the love of fuck ju2t dont make me move**

**twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]**

Um… ok…?

You give the door an experimental shove. It does look pretty weak actually and you don't think there's a secondary lock.

You take a step back and then, with the supreme grace and strength of a sea dweller, kick the door in the place that they always do in those crime shows when they're invading the drug smuggler or whoever's ordinary-looking hideout which is usually in a Hive Stem like this.

Doesn't say much for lowbloods but whatever. Actually that's probably the idea.

The door flies open after two attempts. The lock isn't broken either – just forced. God it was a shitty door.

You step into the hive.

At first, everything seems completely normal. Usually you go out on your hate-dates but you've been inside his hive a few times before. The door leads directly into the living block/kitchenette. Wires trail across the floor and every available space is taken up with some sort of computer-related device. Crossing the block involves doing a sort of ballet around all the clutter, which stepping on would not be a good idea unless you _want_ a psionic blast to the face.

But he isn't it the living block. There are two other rooms – the bathroom and Sollux's respiteblock. Navigating the latter is nigh _impossible_ without stepping on a game he's gone and left on the floor.

But that's probably where he is so you'll have to brave it.

Honestly, the things one does for hate…

You manage to cross the block without destroying anything. You lean against Captor's door and listen. You can't hear anything from inside – no movement, not even the tapping of fingers on a keyboard. It's almost eerily quiet.

'Sol?' you call, more quietly now. 'You in there, Sol?' You think you hear a rustling from inside, and a groan.

''Courthe I am, fithh-breath,' Sollux moans. 'Now go away.'

'The fuck? You just told me to come in!'

'I changed my mind. Fuck off.' Ok, you are actually legitimately concerned now. You may hate him with every inch of your royal heart that isn't reserved for redder feelings, but losing him would still be a significant blow. Oh God, what if he's gotten _hurt_ somehow? What if he's managed to stab himself with one of his dumb throwing stars and is bleeding all over the carpet? What if someone broke in and _attacked_ him? Both seem likely and you know how shitty the door is. Or maybe he's sick? Not a particularly reassuring thought when there are so many life-threatening viruses around at this time of sweep…

'Sol, I'm comin' in w-whether you like it or not,' is the only warning you give before you quickly open the door and switch on the lights.

You expect to see blood and carnage, and Sollux barely conscious in the middle of the floor. But to your great surprise, the room looks practically normal.

Apart from the apparent absence of one Sollux Captor.

You slowly look around, taking in everything. Games on the floor: check. Wires trailing everywhere: check. Blood and guts: …no.

He isn't at his computer, but as you stare, you think you see something move from under the desk…

You walk over and crouch down. And stare.

It looks a like a sqeakbeast's nest, to be perfectly honest. A lot of random fabric things – T-shirts, pants, a blanket or two and few cushions – crushed into the little space between the chair and the wall. And in it lies Sollux Captor.

You are momentarily stunned speechless. Sollux is curled up into a horrible cramped-looking position, clutching his head with both hands as if he thinks it'll fall off, and barely moving. You quickly scan his body – from the way he's holding himself, you don't _think_ he's hurt – before cautiously poking his shoulder.

Sollux groans and shrugs you off, moving himself to make glaring at you easier. But his gaze is unfocused and the glare isn't nearly as potent as you'd expected.

'Thee?' he mutters. 'I'm completely pathetic. Pith off. I'm thorry I had to meth up your day. I'm thure you had tho many important things to do.' Sweet troll Jegus, even his _sarcasm_ is lacking commitment.

'Sol, what's wrong?' you ask, keeping your voice quiet because _boy_ does he look sick.

'Thhut up, ED. It'th none of your buthineth,' he says, tucking his head into his arms as if he thinks it'll crumble to pieces if he doesn't.

'It is if I'm gonna catch some horrible disease,' you reply, crossing your arms. Sollux laughs hollowly but doesn't look up.

'You won't. But if you're gonna thtay here, at leatht turn the fucking light off. My head hurtth enough ath it ith.' You hesitate a moment before actually doing what he says. You want to get to the bottom of this.

Finding your way back form the light switch isn't easy and you definitely trod on a few games. But what the fuck, it's his fault for leaving them lying around all over the fucking floor.

You grope into the darkness for Sollux's shoulder, mostly to get your bearings. 'Now-w,' you begin, 'you gonna tell me w-what the fuck's w-wrong w-with you?'

'Will you leave me alone if I tell you?' he moans in reply.

'Maybe,' you say. Which is a lie, you're not going anywhere.

Sollux sighs. It's a long and drawn-out and makes him sound old beyond his years. As if he's carrying some terrible burden. It does weird things to your heart which you try to crush quickly. He is your _kismesis_ and you _hate_ him.

'It'th the voitheth,' he explains glumly. 'They've been really loud lately and now I have the wortht migraine imaginable. Jutht moving my head hurtth.' You don't know what to say. You guess you're glad he's not sick, but this is almost worse in a way.

Your mouth has gone a bit dry and you quickly lick your lips.

You guess you should be angry. You came here for a hate-date and you got this. Maybe you should take advantage of it… but no. No, shut up, never think those thoughts again. As pathetically easy as it would be, you know he would never forgive you. It could even end your kismesitude. There's a fine line between romantic hate and platonic hate and you want to stay safely on the romantic side.

So instead you ask, 'is there anythin' I can do to help?'

'The fuck do you care?' Sollux moans, sounding more tired than ever. 'You hate me.'

'Yes,' you say, 'but I'm you kismesis. I do sorta need you, Sol. So is there anythin'?' Sollux huffs a sigh and shifts around slightly… before wincing and instantly freezing.

'I dunno… I jutht— you could… No, there'th nothing,' he concludes firmly. 'Nothing you can do exthept leave me in peathe.' You think for a moment. Leaving would be the easiest thing to do. You could go back home and put your feet up in a place where you're not constantly endangering games and wires just be walking across the floor.

…But it's a hell of a long way back and fuck, you're here, and Sollux is being so fucking pitiful it's making your bloodpusher twinge.

So instead of going away, you do something you honestly never thought you would do _ever_ – first, you take off your cape and scarf because they will only get in the way. Second, you add you cape and scarf to the nest that Sollux has made. Third – and this is the truly shocking part – you lie down beside your agonized kismesis and pull himself into your arms.

'The _fuck_, Eridan?' Sollux protests, and you receive an elbow to the ribs. But it wasn't a hard strike so you just let it go.

'Speak a w-word of this to _anyw-won_,' you growl, 'and I w-will kill you.'

'Thame goeth for you, fithh-breath,' Sollux growls back, squirming into a more comfortable position and uncurling himself so that your bodies can press together properly. He cautiously fists his hands into your T-shirt as if doing it slowly will mean you won't notice. And he's so _warm_, you'd forgotten how warm he is. It's the sort of warm that makes you want to snuggle next to him forever and no, stop it, _hatred_ you _hate_ him.

…But they say that pity is just a lesser form of hate…

…and he really is pitiful right now…

…and you can argue with yourself when you aren't pressed against him with your chin on his head, snugly between his horns, and everything is warm and nice and when Sollux isn't in such a miserable amount of pain.

You don't know when that will be, and to be honest, you don't care. Screw blood, screw quadrants, this is too nice for such negative thoughts.

And even when he recovers and starts yelling at you later, and you call him ungrateful and vow that _next time_ (because there will be a next time, there's always a next time) you won't bother even coming and he can curl up and die for all you care (which isn't true and never will be), you don't think you'll regret doing this.

_Ever_.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed. Review?


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